Hello,First off I would like to say I'm a guy who has a "boy bad ass" reputation, but like I always say reputation is what people percieve of you, character is who you truly are. If people seen who I truly was they would think I'm the real life Hyde/Jekel. Anyways, I had been dating this girl for 3-4 yrs off and on and we got along great at times, like any "normal" couple we had our stupid arguments, but it seems like you don't realize how stupid the arguments are until the person your arguing with is no longer there. At the time we split up we weren't together "together" but we were ALOT closer than we are now, until tonight I hadn't talk to her in about a week or so, and when I called I made up so excuse, just so I could here the voice that at one time I took for granted, I've always been told "my ego is bigger than the world itself" and I always laughed it off and kept going, but now it's come back to bite me because I'm to arrogant to pick up the phone and tell her how I fell, I have my head so far up my a** that I can't see that my best friend is drifting ever so further away, my admitting this is a step in the right direction I guess, hell...I can't go anywhere but up from here. I'm don't wanna sound anymore arrogant then I already do but when you have girls droolong over your every step, and you date someone who has been percived as "average" then you feel like it's there duty to come crawling back, this is something alright to think until you start beliving it...there NO doubt that I love this girl more than anythingin the world, BUT for some reason I can't pick up the phone and spill my heart to her, it seems the more I want to the more I hear that second voice saying "your the trophy" pff. Wow, it's amazing what 4yrs of love can do to someones emotions...one day your on top of the world and the next you carrying the weight of it. I guess when someone is in your life everyday for 4yrs it becomes "just anthor thing", that what you start to believe until the part of your life is missing. I don't usually let many people get close to me because of situations just like this, seems as if I been here before...now "deja vou"(sp?) has come back to teach me a lesson, first time this happened...shame on me, 2nd time.....yelp me again(or I would say so). Now how arrogant egotistical of an a** can I be you ask? hmm, well I'm being a coward and posting this here instead of telling the one I love...hmm, makes me think how many times a person can hit rock bottom before they wont get up.....
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