My Story - Does the pain ever stop? Post a Reply | Views: 367 | Started By: Treazure | Replies: 4 Hi everyone, This is my first post here, and I would greatly appreciate any advice that anyone may be able to offer.After 5 yrs together, my fiance and I broke up in September. We had an incredibly difficult year prior to the break-up. He opened a business in a near by city that caused him to travel a great deal, my mother passed away, we bought a new house etc. The stress finally became too much, and I began to drink to help deal with the lonliness and pain. He tried his best, the absences from home were to ensure our future, I was to selfish and self absorbed at the time to see that.I had two children before we became involved. He was a wonderful role model, and not only did he provide an incredible influence on them, so did his family. His parents became "Gramma and Grandpa" , his sister was "Aunt Tiffany" . Even now, after the breakup, we all still keep in touch, and his family still plays the role of grandparents for the kids.He moved to the city where he opened the new business ( about 5 hrs away) and I satyed here. We placed our house on the market and moved into an apartment.The problem is , even though he says he see no future for us, we remain in close contact, daily communication is the norm, usually email, but we still talk on the phone often. We also still have very intimate conversations , and ge admits that he doesn't want me to see anyone else. Yet, will not discuss our "future", simply saying that it's over.I love him so much. The pain has become unbearable, What do I do, simply accept what he is willing to offer ( the contact , sexual and otherwise) and try to be happy with that? Or, do I try to save my sanity and discontinue any form of communication with him? Please help, I'm not sure how much longer I can live with this pain , I miss him so very much and I am so sorry for being weak and ruining our relationship.

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Yikes. That's really too bad. It's unfair of him, though, to tell you that you can't see other guys but that he won't consider a relationship again. I think it would be healthier for you if you stopped communicating with him.You said that you started drinking to ease your pain- have you done anything about it? You deserve to be happy- if he's unwilling to consider a future with you, then you need to allow yourself to move on and find someone who will. The healing process won't start until after you stop talking to him. I'm sorry- but if you cut him off and let him know that you're moving on- then maybe he'll realize what he's losing.Good luck. Responded: Precious Xty   Yikes. That's really too bad. It's unfair of him, though, to tell you that you can't see other guys but that he won't consider a relationship again. I think it would be healthier for you if you stopped communicating with him.You said that you started drinking to ease your pain- have you done anything about it? You deserve to be happy- if he's unwilling to consider a future with you, then you need to allow yourself to move on and find someone who will. The healing process won't start until after you stop talking to him. I'm sorry- but if you cut him off and let him know that you're moving on- then maybe he'll realize what he's losing.Good luck. Responded: Precious Xty   I believe the only way to move forward and to grow is to end all contact. It is too painful and you are hanging in limbo. It seems clear that things aren't going anywhere and you want more. Give it some time and distance and in time maybe you can start new with only a friendship.All the best. Responded: tammylynne   I defianately think if the two of you are wanting different things from one another and seeing as you have had a serious past together and he doesnt see a future with you but remains in constant contact then you are just a comfort zone for him. let him go its hard but its not worth your pain and suffering. Responded: Guest