Rebuilding Broken Trust. Post a Reply | Views: 488 | Started By: GHOSTY | Replies: 4 My gf of 4 years didn't come home oone saturday night 2 months ago, this was a girls night out so I couldn't really tag along with her but I had full trust. Unfortunately she didn't ring me unitl 9am the next morning then that night she tells me she stayed at this guys house but they didn't do anything. 4 days later she tells me she actually met this guy 2 months on another girls night out but they have only been sending SMS's to each other but unfortunately I feel like a bit of a fool that she didn't tell me when she first met him.Of course I had to move out and in with a friend as I was in a state of shock. For the last 2 months since this happened we have both aggreed to take some time apart now to figure out how we really feel. She says her heart belongs too me and that this is the biggest mistake of her life and that I'm the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with, but I honestly at this stage can't seem to get past the trust thing. A big part of me misses her so much but I fear that may only be because I am lonely, the other half of me feels she must of really been unhappy with me to go looking elsewhere.Communcation breakdown was the biggest cause for this happening we both realize and a part of me knows we would be alot stronger the second time but seeing as both of us are 26 I feel both of us are young and need maybe to move on, but then I may miss the best love of my life if I don't fight for her. I guess I'm asking others out there if there is any easy way to rebuild trust or is time the best healer?.

Main / Relationship Disorders

tough call as I am in the same boat...the funny thing is I was the one communicating, worknig at the relationship etc...and she said she was tired of working, that she doesn't know how to communicate..all this crap...be strong and let her come back to you... Responded: spoiled-one   Trust is such a big thing in a relationship and without it there is no true happy relationship. I read your story and I really can't give you a straight answer because it is so hard.Like you said that you don't know if you miss her because you love her or because you are lonely. That might be something that you need to figure out. It might seem impossible but it isn't. And maybe you should ask her about why she even started talking to this guy. It was very wrong of her to do this. I don't know her or the type of relationship you two had but to stay at another guys house is just wrong. I mean I don't think she would like it if you stayed at some girls house and that you met her a few months back right? Unless you have that sort of relationship.Another thing is yes communication is a big part of loving someone. You two have to talk and let eachother know how you both feel. If you love eachother tell eachother that. If you are starting to talk with someone of the opposite sex then just let eachother know it is only a friendly sort of talk. I just wanted to know how long have you two been apart now? To me I feel as if you should give it another shot. It is not easy to rebuild trust but it is possible. You have to be willing to try though. You have to let the past go now and move on. Let her prove to you that she does love you and wants to be with you. But don't bring up the past during disagreements. I hope I make sense here. Just let me know. Good luck. Responded: dazed   Thanks for the Reply, it's nice to hear other people comments. We have been apart now for allmost 2 months, she's moved back home with her mum and dad and we are still on talking terms at the moment via email. Unfortunately she has built a friendship with this guy and they talk to each now about relationships and give each other advice, but she realises if we get back together I would feel uncomfortable with her seeing him, thats something I've told her to talk to him about.I often was th eone that tryed to talk about our problems but when she didn't give me much feed back I gave up alot of the time and we both realise this now that communication is the key to making us stronger, all the little things that made us differnt we know we can work around now. Near the end I was devoting too much time to my computer and studies and she was devoting too much time to her new business so we kinda drifted a little and we both realise that now that we need to make time now each day just to spend with each other and talk.I don't blame myself but I can see now that I could of tryed a lot harder and this has given me a real wakeup call, I just unfortunately wish it didn't have to happen that way, but then we may of kept going for years before we realised. Responded: GHOSTY   What you have just written is happening to a lot of people and you are not the only one in such a situation. The best advice is to trust your instincts and go from there. It is normal for you to miss her and want to be with her and you did the wise thing to move out and stay some were else to get your bearing as to were to go from there. Don't be fooled by her saying her heart belongs to you. If that was the truth why stay at some guys house and nothing happen. Don't be fooled by this statement. If this woman really loved you she would not stay at some guy's house and then tell you days later about it. For all you know this whole plan was carefully plan for you to move out by telling you the time she did. You have been together for 4yrs so she have some insight as to how you will react to this news. Some women can win an Oscar for their lies and BS. Women are very smart and don't underestimate them and how far they will go to do some thing in secret. My personal advice is to move on and call it a day. Once you see some thing you don't like in a relationship cut your losses and move on. It is easier said than done, but in the long run you will be much happier. I would never be able to trust this woman and will always have the feeling of this guy having sex with her. I would feel better meeting some one else and  moving on from there. Dude there is Aids and all that other stuff out there. Use your head and not your heart in making what ever decision that will be the best for you in the long run and not short term. Women do the same for them selves and so must we men.   Responded: Guest