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| what should i do is there a chance he will realize i could be the one
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Views: 1007 | Started By: Guest | Replies: 0
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Here we go. i have never done this before. but maybe i will listen to a strangers advice more so than friends and family. don't we all do that! I have been i don't know with this guy for 10 months now. stupid me fell in love hard for the first time. okay. i dont even know where to begin. before i start i want you to know that i know i should just give up on him. i know he is going to probably keep this up. and i know there are others out there. but i also have very strong feelings for him. i know he would be a great role model for my kids( i am not looking for a father for my kids, and i have told him that from day one. and he was okay with it.) we started dating last november. everything was going great. he was "THE ONE!" it was as perfect as it could be. we were happy, compatible, shares views, morals. my kids feel in love with him too. ihave a 2 and a 3 year old that understand that their mummie and dadie are not together because they are not in love with each other and we fight when we are togther. we have been up front with (well i have been upfront with my children) yes they are only 2 and 3 but they r very smart. and i told them that they only had one mummie and daddie but they might fight some one new as a girlfriend or boyfriend. but to remember that that person is not their mummie or daddie. and will never be. and tried to explain to them about step-families. they understand to the best of thier knowledge and understanding. then he told me he loved me. then all fell apart. we broke up. he couldnt do it it was too much. i dont blame him my childrens father and his family are crazy. they stock my "friend" and i. crazy people but anyways. We took a break for awhile. and just became friends. (first heart break). then two weeks later we ended up in bed and it all started from there. and then things got all close and everything and he runs away. and two weeks later we are back together in the bed. thean again feelings start to heat up and he runs. we have been doing this for the past well since last december. and yet again it just happened. and you know what i hate myself very much for letting it happen. i tried so keep controll of my feelings for him and just be friends. then it was friends with benifit.(great benifits). but i know when it is about to happened. like esp or something.LOL. but seriously, i know when things are heating up and going to end. AGAIN. his kisses change when he lets himself feel. he kisses me with such passion, feeling, emotion and i am not going to say love but strong feelings. that are probably, unfamiliar and scary for him. and maybe he has been hurt bad before. i dont know but if he would just let himself feel what he feels. i dont know. i just wish i could just forget about these feelings and let him go for good. but i love him and what i feel is so strong and so right and the need to fight for what i want, is almost unbearable. he is the one and i see it in his eyes and i feel it with every kiss, gentle, caring touch. everything in and about him. who he is. what he can do to me with just a thought. i am fighting for him to see what i see what he lets slip out on how he feels about me. he keeps coming back all the time. first excuse was it was he wasnt ready. sec was the kids. third was my past. then he just didnt want to feel what he feels. and now is his beliefs. his family up bringing. and their veiws about single mums. all excuses. why does he keep coming back. why do i let him. why wont he just do what makes him happy. why? i am so confused. because he says he cant do this because of all these reasons but he allows himself to get caught up in the feelings that do show up in him heart and then runs. what should i do i am going crazy but i still have this strong need to fight for him. i cant let him go I HONESTLY LOVE HIM.
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