his parents want us to be apart Post a Reply | Views: 590 | Started By: SASSY909 | Replies: 10 ok....I have been dating this guy for 8 months. Even though we live an hour apart we still do see alot of each other. Usually ill spend a week there and then come home for a week. (he lives on his own)You see the problem is his parents....My bf was suppose to come over yesterday afternoon at about two...any ways he didn't get here until about 5 because he had to do something for work. So im like thats ok at least ill be able to spend tomorrow with you....(i was wrong) 9am this morning his mom rings up to tell him that the freezer will be there at 12 and that she expects him to be home before then. I was furious.Everytime he comes over to see me for the weekend...his parents always seem to find an excuse to make him go back home (ie. jobs around 'their' house). Now this morning they done the predictable thing and came up with the excuse of the freezer needed fixing. It had come to a point where i just want to explode. They even do it when we are over at his place. Just say if we are at home deciding to have a lazy day at home (he does work 5 1/2 days a week) his dad or his mom will ring with a problem or something my bf needs to fix. I feel like that he is not allowed to have a life. Before the weekend comes his dad has already planned my bf weekend with things he wants him to do. It had been the air conditioner, the lawns need mowing, fix his moms car, wash his dads car, build an outdoor table, help fix the stupid freezer and the list goes on.This has gone on for the whole time i have been with my bf and i am just getting so frustrated. I feel like his parents are total control freaks, i mean i would dammed if i let my parents tell me what i can and cant do.I really dont know what to do...i feel like his parents run his life....and it is really getting to me....any advise would be wonderful pls....

Main / Spousal Business

Pages:    Prev    1   2     Your boyfriend should definitely be aware of how you feel and how this is effecting you. Once he knows these things he can either change or remain the same. If he remains the same, I don't suggest you stick around being that it is making you unhappy. However, if he does decide to change the way things are, support him and realize that it may not be easy on him considering he seems to be very close to his family. Responded: Moony   Thank you for all your posts....i really appreciate them. Just for Tracy....my bf doesn't like what his parents do either but he really hasn't got much of a leg to stand on when it comes to confronting them....because it has been this way all his life he has just learned to obide by what they say....whether you think it is write or wrong....he "is" 23 yrs old and lives on his own...which should entitle him to his own life and not have to be running back and forth to his parents....and i mean this is not a once in a blue moon thing....it is (nearly) every spare moment that he may have. Now i dont know how you can justify that.... but he is his own person and his parents really aren't giving him the freedom they should.But on the brighter side he has been offered a job over here where i live which should give some amount of space from his parents....although i assume he probably will be back over there on weekends to do the 'jobs around the house' I am fine with that as long as we still get our weekends together like every couple should... Responded: SASSY909   Well, if your boyfriend's 23, it's high time he had a life of his own. A lot a parents resist their kids' growing up, and it sounds like this might be happening here. They're looking for ways to keep him home, and not understanding that even birds know when to kick their offspring out of the nest. At this point, it's really up to your boyfriend to make the break. Heck, I've known people in their 40's still living with their parents because they can't make the break, and this is no way to live a life. It stunts your own growth. Talk it out with him. Things can't go on this way forever. Responded: Duane   Well hopefully he will get the new job so that the two of you are closer together. Though that will not solve the problem at all. For his parents will continue to do as it is that they are doing. And it has nothing at all to do with you. They will do this with every one that he is involved with after you if the two of you do end things.What his parents are experiencing is known as the Empty Nest Syndrome. They are trying to hold onto him and not let him grow up. For by them letting go of him, they would be admitting that they are getting old and they do not want to do it.There is only one way to resolve this issue. And that is for your boyfriend to put his foot down and to tell them no. When the two of you do have plans together, he needs to tell them that and that he can not do what it is that they want him to do. He also needs to make an offer at the same time to do it at another time so as to not alienate them.More than likely they will scream and yell about it. And possibly try to put him on a guilt trip about it as well. He still needs to stand his ground. Then don't answer the phone and let the answering machine pick up the calls. If the call happens to be important such as a medical emergency, then okay. Otherwise he needs to wait at least 12 hours before he does call them back. And when he calls them back, they will drill and question him as to what took him so long to call back and what it was that he was doing. All he needs to do is to simply tell them that he was busy with other plans and not to elaborate at all. They will probably ask if he was spending time with you. Again, he needs to tell them that he was busy and that it is not important at all. Responded: Anotherwiseone   thank you....very good advice...:0I think you nailed the whole thing on the head....yes i believe they do not want to let him go as for he is an only child (sorry important asspect left out). And i do understand where they are coming from...but it is getting very frustrating and it maybe selfish and i am trying to look at it from all angles and from everyones point of view. I dont want to keep him from his family....i just wish they would give us a little space if that is too much to ask...(although i would never actually ask them this myself...). Your advice is very good thankyou Responded: SASSY909   Pages:    Prev    1   2